Sometimes I forget important things...

It's true. Even with lists and automatic reminders and electronic calendars, I still forget things. Unfortunately, often times the things I forget are the really important things. You know, the things that shouldn't ever be forgotten but somehow do.

Like being authentic.

Sometimes I forget this. And sadly enough, it seems like 98.72348% of the population struggles with the same loss of memory. But why? Why are we afraid to be authentic?

Maybe because it costs more.

I recently read a story about a little boy who grew up in the 50's watching his favorite cowboy show set out in the Wild West. One year his parents took the little boy to see the set as a treat. With eager anticipation, the little boy imagined how great it would be to experience in real life what he had experienced for so long on the other side of a glass screen sitting in his living room. However, upon arrival at the set, his expectations were dashed. Turns out it was filmed on a studio lot and the Wild West wasn't really all that wild. And to make things worse, the town was little more than a meticulously constructed facade that looked great on one side but was propped up with a few boards on the other side.

I suppose the set designers could have created a whole town that would have undoubtedly captured the delight of the little boys who were fortunate enough to come visit the site where their action heroes existed - but they didn't. It would have cost too much.

The facade worked just fine. Well, until you saw the other side that is.

It's so easy to say yes when you really want to say no.
It's so easy to say that you understand when you really don't.
It's so easy to over-promise and under-deliver.
It's so easy to say what they want to hear instead of what they need to hear.
It's so easy to be something, or someone, else than what you really should be.

It's so easy to fake it.

And it's also so very easy to blend in.

It's much harder to stick out. It's hard to be unique. It's tough to be authentic. That in itself is almost reason enough to try it, but there's more to it than that. When you're authentic people take notice. When you tell the truth people are shocked. When you stand your ground it's as though you can feel the solid surface beneath you rising up and connecting with the skin of your toes and the bottom of your heels. It becomes firm. Unwavering. Unyielding.

I'm going to do a better job of reminding myself to be authentic. And you?

The price of change

I'm not going to start a lengthy discussion about change. It's upon us, it's scary, and we have to deal with it.

But to deal with it effectively, I believe we have to know the price we have to pay to experience the benefits that change can bring.

Here's my paraphrase of an Einstein quote:

The same thinking that got us into this mess can't get us out of it.

That's a scary thought. It means we have to change the way we think. Which means we have to change our philosophy. Not a simple task.

I've been in the middle of change for quite a while now. The company that I worked for previously went belly-up, so I decided to start my own business. I'm still starting that business and it's been a difficult road. I often don't know what to do. But I do know this. I have to shift my philosophy from the way I used to think to a new way of thinking. 

Here's an example. Sales. Ugh, what a horrible word. It conjures up all kinds of unpleasant images that make us feel icky. Yes, I just said icky. 

The reason it makes us feel that way is that we're thinking how sales has been done in the past. Not the distant past, more so the recent past - like the last 50 years. 

Let me explain. Sales used to be a demonstration of communication, trust, authenticity, and honor. Sales were made by shaking hands. Commitments were honored because our word had been given. Now I know this is somewhat idealized - I know there were shysters and everything wasn't Mayberry perfect. But there was more honor then than what followed.

And then TV came along. The relationships were gone. Now we had to coerce, and persuade, manipulate and cajole, use scarcity, and tactics and suddenly there were hundreds of books being written about how to "DO" sales.

How in the world did people sell before all these books were written? I'm sure they did, but it was most likely a fluke of nature. 

Wasn't it?

Or maybe salespeople back then used to have character. Maybe they knew how to build relationships. Maybe they were okay with being authentic and honest. Maybe they didn't over-complicate things.

And maybe that's what we should go back to. Maybe part of the price of change is giving up our reliance on tactics and going back to providing real authenticity - if even we think it makes us look bad. 

It's a shocking idea but that's the challenge I'm issuing to myself. Be authentic or go work in a factory making widgets. Those are really the only options. And because the second option makes me ill, I'm gonna stick with the first one.